retinal perspectives

your authentic self

Did you know that being authentic can be considered a part of wellness? Really. I have struggled a great deal with this in the past, though I am finally moving past my fears. Stifling my authentic self led to weight gain, a weak throat chakra (well, I guess it could work both ways - either the weak throat chakra led to the stifling, or the stifling led to the weak throat chakra), and lots of resentment - none of which are conducive to wellness.

Are you your authentic self? If not, can you see any ways in which this might affect your health?

ask first

I read a book called Animal Reiki which stressed the importance of giving the animal the freedom to accept or reject reiki. I knew that we were supposed to ask permission before giving or sending reiki to anyone, but I completely forgot to apply the same concept and courtesy to my own puppy! I remember one instance where I literally chased him around the living room for over half an hour because he would not stay still and accept the reiki treatment that I was so convinced he needed. As it turned out, I needed the reiki, not him - he was only mirroring my issue. Now, I let him decide whether he wants reiki or not.

allergies and burns and cats, oh my

I've always believed that your mental and emotional health have an impact on your physical health. After I started practicing reiki on myself, I realized just how large of an impact they can actually have.

I was allergic to cats. Horribly allergic. Throat began to close up within minutes allergic. Given that two sisters have cats, this presented a problem. I had to use steroids to survive each visit and I just hated it; I never felt like myself, my breathing was still impaired, and the taper never went well. With one sister, the visits were easier - because I could stay at a nearby B&B. With the other sister, it was harder - because my parents thought that if they just cleaned thoroughly, I would be fine. After I returned home from a visit, I would always have a few days of coughing fits where it felt like the cat hair was coming out of my lungs.

I worked with a naturopath for a year and it helped a little bit, but I still wound up in the clinic for steroids to survive the rest of that visit to my parents. I did start allergy shots twice but, since I was doing it under duress ("this is what will get rid of your allergies - you need to do this"), I doubt they would have worked even if I had completed them.

Then, I started reiki. After my Reiki II class, when I started clearing at the mental and emotional level, I began having those same coughing fits after the more intense sessions. They'd occur in the middle of the night (my neighbor even asked about them because he could hear me though the walls) or I'd spend my morning walk with Atlas doubled over, coughing as if my lungs would come out. That was when I realized that perhaps my cat allergies stemmed from something, and if I could clear it, perhaps the allergies would leave too.

Eventually, I realized that the cat allergies were connected to a burn I received when I was little. I was in the sauna, and someone accidentally poured boiling water on me. Recovery was long and painful. But .. my grandparents had a sauna. Every Saturday, we'd visit them for a sauna. Except now I was terrified of saunas. I remember sitting inside that sauna every week - staring at the hot water and the flames under the stove - watching and waiting for something bad to happen. But I never told anyone - I didn't want to be a bother or make them feel worse about my burn. I held all that fear inside. But repressed emotions will make themselves known somehow, and mine did so in the form of allergies.

I'm afraid that I don't know how to explain how I know that. It just came to me in a flash of intuition - and I trust my intuition. What I can tell you is that my cat allergies are nearly gone. And in the end, that is really all that matters to me.

daisy do

 

You can use reiki for just about everything - people, animals, plants, situations, rooms, inanimate objects .. Here's one of my stories.

I like to buy Gerbera daisies for my desk. My desk happens to be in my bedroom. The daisies used to last 3-4 days and then the petals would fall off. Since I started reiki, the daisies last between 2 and 3 weeks. I'm not sending reiki to them directly, but I give myself a reiki treatment every day - in the bedroom. I give my puppy reiki treatments - in the bedroom. I send reiki to others - from the bedroom. Clearly there is a lot of reiki energy in this particular room.

I was trying to figure out why my daisies were lasting so long when I realized the connection. Naturally, the analytical part of me wants to perform an experiment. The rest of me just wants to enjoy the daisies.

I forgot to mention

If you're interested in trying reiki, just let me know - even if you don't live near me. I enjoy sending it.

It will help, however, if I have a photo (if I have never met you or seen a photo of you). I am told that you do not need a photo to send reiki, but it is much easier for me to do so if I can visualize the person.

feeling the edges

A couple of months after I started giving myself reiki treatments, I began to notice that when my hands are in certain positions - especially when they are over the heart chakra - I can no longer feel them. They aren't numb. My hands and arms go numb a lot so I am very clear on what that feels like. I just can't feel the edges. It is as if my hands take on the energy of whatever body part they are touching and vibrate in alignment with that body part. Essentially, it feels like they melt into and become one with that body part, hence the "can't feel the edges" description.

A week or so back, I had that same experience during meditation. My hands were resting on my ankles and I was focusing on my breath, when I realized that my hands had melted into my ankles. Then, I remembered something that Jill Bolte Taylor said in her book, My Stroke of Insight. She said that your left brain is responsible for defining your physical boundaries. It makes sense then, that I can't feel my edges during reiki, as I am usually in a meditative state.

reiki

I will probably mention reiki a lot, so I thought I'd take the time to explain it.

Reiki is a Japanese method of energetic healing. The word reiki is made up of two Japanese words: the first referring to a Higher Power and the second referring to life force energy (also known as chi or prana). In other words, it is energy that is guided by a Higher Power. Reiki treats the whole person - body, mind, spirit, emotions - and can be administered either by the laying on of hands or sent from a distance. It works by flowing through the energy field and healing any disruptions in the life force energy.

I know .. you may be skeptical. I was initially. So I tried it - just to see if I felt anything.

I still remember that session. I laid on the massage table, not feeling anything, thinking "Well .. at least I can say that I tried it. I didn't really expect anything to happen anyway." All of a sudden, I realized that I could no longer feel my hands and fingers. They weren't numb; it was like they weren't there. I'd pick up a finger, just to confirm that I still had fingers, but then it would be gone again.

I started feeling waves of energy move up through my arms. It felt like I was standing on top of a mountain. I could feel the cold air, see the mountain peaks, and see the clouds below me. There were a few scattered Japanese bonsai trees. It was lovely.

Then the practitioner put her hands on my shoulders. After a second, she asked, "Has someone broken your heart recently?" I said no - I couldn't think of anything - and then I felt a huge weight on my chest and tears began rolling down my cheeks. The pressure was intense, and yet I had no idea why I was crying. Finally the tears stopped and the pressure faded - and I felt so light and free.

A day or two later, I remembered an event that had occurred the previous winter. I remembered how I felt when it happened, and it was exactly the same as I felt during the reiki session - the same huge weight on my heart and the same hot gulping tears. Apparently I had not released it at the time and was carrying it around with me.

Anyway, that experience convinced me that there was something to reiki after all. In October, I signed up for a reiki class, and have been practicing daily ever since. It has truly been a blessing.

eat it or wear it

I am always running across fun articles on how to make facial masks, exfoliators, hair conditioners .. out of items in my cupboard and refrigerator. If I happen to have the ingredients on hand, I will usually try it.

A few months back, I tried a recipe for a mask that used oatmeal and lemon juice. You were supposed to put the oatmeal in a food processor or blender until it turned into a fine powder. I skipped that step; it saved time and effort and I figured it wasn't really important. I put the very lumpy (it looked like a thick porridge) mask on in my bathroom and waited. Well .. it wouldn't stay on my face! After a few seconds, it all fell off into the sink and the mixture was so thick that it clogged my sink drain. Instead of relaxing with a cleansing mask, I wound up unclogging my drain. However, it was a good recipe - my face did feel softer. I wish I could remember where I saw it.

A few weeks later, I was cleaning out my cupboards and found a half-empty bottle of sesame oil that had expired. I was about to throw it out when I remembered a magazine article that suggested giving yourself a massage with warm sesame oil in winter. Instead of throwing it out, I moved the bottle up to my bathroom. I've been using it before the occasional shower. It really does work as a moisturizer. The only problem .. the smell of the oil reminds me of stir-fry. Whenever I use it, a hint of the smell lingers in my nose all day. I'm afraid to ask if it's just me, or if it's actually me.

How about you? Have you tried any good "recipes"?

blue lotus?

Why did I use blue lotus as a blog name?

I was looking for a name that symbolized the holistic nature of wellness. The lotus flower is considered sacred in many religions and cultures. The roots of a lotus flower are in the mud and the stem grows up through the water so the blossom is above the water's surface. To me, the lotus flower epitomizes the beauty and perfection and promise within each of us. I also believe that true wellness comes from within - when we realize and embrace this.

Why the blue lotus?

Truth be told, I just like the color blue.