retinal perspectives

do you treat yourself with kindness

"If you had a person in your life treating you the way you treat yourself, you would have gotten rid of them a long time ago ..."

I read this sentence in a book called There is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber. The statement is so true. Really, I don't think that we can be reminded of this enough.

I am learning to take her advice: "I can give you the simplest of all possible rules of thumb: Any time a voice is talking to you that is not talking with love and compassion, don't believe it! Even if it is talking about someone else, don't believe it."

Are you talking to yourself with love and compassion? If not, don't you think it's time to start?

a choice isn't (necessarily) forever

I've been trying to discover what is next for me. I know that it's time for a change, and I have lots of great ideas, but it feels like I've just been going around and around and around. Since I didn't know every detail of what that next thing might look like, I continued to do nothing - waiting for the "right thing" to reveal itself to me.

Yesterday, I had an epiphany. The reason that I'm in this place is because I thought that I had to make "the" choice - that whatever I picked, I was stuck with until I died. Based on that criteria, of course the decision had to be perfect. I forgot that if I made a decision and didn't like it or it didn't work out, I could be grateful for the lesson and experience and clarity and then do something else. Now that I have remembered this, I feel so free - I can choose to do anything!

The funny thing is that I don't know how I forgot this. I say it all the time: "If I lose my job, I'll be fine - I'll just go do something else." And I always mean it. I really would be fine. I really would go do something else. And that something else wouldn't even have to be perfect. Maybe it's because in that scenario, someone would be making the harder choice (stay or go) for me.

I'd love to hear your stories around this topic. Do you struggle with making decisions because the decisions have to be perfect? Is it easier for small or large decisions?

out in space

When I was younger, I'd occasionally have a most interesting experience while trying to fall asleep. All of a sudden, I'd realize that the regular darkness behind my eyes had been replaced by the darkness of the universe, filled with pin pricks of light. Even though I physically felt the bed, and knew that the room had walls, it would feel as if the walls had vanished and I was soaring through space. I could never figure out how to make this happen but, when it did, I never wanted it to stop.

This was years ago and I had completely forgotten about it. Until the same thing happened during reiki. And then during meditation. And now it happens quite often during both. It really is a most lovely feeling. Sometimes I'm gliding slowly through space. Sometimes I'm soaring faster and faster and faster. As in the past, I cannot figure out how to make it happen but, when it does, I don't want it to end.

the energy you feel may not be your own

When you are in a mood (anxious or unhappy or scared or ..), and you don't know why, do you ever stop to think about whether you're actually picking up on someone else's energy? I had a good lesson in this last night.

My sister, my pup, and I were having a picnic at a nearby park when we saw a woman walking down the path towards us. My gut told me that something was wrong. Atlas saw her and began barking his "I'm big and tough so you stay away" bark. Instead of continuing past us, she stopped and stared at us for many long minutes, muttering under her breath. Atlas did not stop barking until she was far across the street - and he kept looking back to make sure she wasn't coming our way again. Then, she came back and stood at the edge of the park, staring again. Finally, she went inside. I almost never get a bad vibe about people, and Atlas almost never offers that warning bark to a person - so I trust both of our instincts.

We were walking around the park after dinner when I started feeling weird and sick and nervous and anxious and confused and scared and scattered .. but I didn't know why. In my fretful state, I thought Atlas' foot looked like it was moving strangely and I told Helen that we had to leave immediately - something was very wrong. As we got into the car, I glanced in my side view mirror and noticed the woman. She had been standing a little behind a building, staring intently at us again. That's when I realized that I was picking up on her energy.

So .. the next time a mood comes on and you really don't know why, take a minute to think about whether you might be picking up on someone else's mood. This can happen for both positive and negative emotions (happiness is contagious too), but I really can't see a downside to "catching" positive emotions!

water

If I remember correctly, our bodies are composed of 70% water - give or take. I have a hard time drinking enough water but I usually don't realize I'm dehydrated until I am to the point of headaches or extreme fatigue or dizziness. I just don't love the taste.

I've tried adding lemons and limes. I've tried adding Dr. Brandt's pomegranate antioxidant water booster. I've tried adding iced tea. I've tried adding juice. I've tried adding apple cider. Alas, nothing works terribly well. I used to add Crystal Lite powder but I cut out artificial sweetener a few years ago. I do love sparkling mineral water - but that's just so much "packaging".

Do you drink enough water? Do you like the taste? If not, how do you get yourself to drink it? I could use some help here.

By the way, at a BodyTalk Access class a few weekends back, the instructor mentioned that the more hydrated we are, the more capacity we have for joy. All the more reason to stay hydrated!

just breathe

You've heard it before. "Take a deep breath."

There's a reason the phrase is said so often. It really works. Whatever the issue, whatever the problem, the first thing to do is breathe.

Since I started reiki, I am much more sensitive to how I feel and to the energy in my body. Whenever I take a deep breath, I can feel my energy shifting. It's as if my body and mind take a big sigh of relief and I have space to choose my reaction.

Try it! The next time you feel anxious or scared or mentally scattered or helpless or out of control or .. just take a slow deep breath. Then another. Then another. Even if you don't notice an immediate change, you're letting more oxygen flow through your system - and that is always a good thing.

bumps and bruises and reiki

Today, I had a little problem. The pup and I were dozing on the grass at lunch in lieu of a walk. He saw a couple of crazy dogs headed our way. I saw them too. I was admiring his calmness when he bolted. The leash slipped through my hand. Good-bye skin. I tried to stand up to stop him, tripped over my own feet, lost a shoe, and fell. Good-bye more skin.

When I assessed the damage, I was missing patches of skin all over my hands and my knees. There was blood. There was pain. I was not a happy camper. So, I washed everything with soap and water and sat down to give myself some reiki. A short while later, I was much improved. The bleeding had pretty much stopped (except for one knee) and everything was starting to close over. I didn't even really need to use bandages.

Yay for reiki.

you can have it all

I've had a block in my chest for a few days now. It feels like a heavy, dense, solid mass of something. Something that's trying to get out. I'm still not that great at just sitting with these things, so I have been trying to release it.

I tried reiki. I tried a chakra balancing meditation. I tried a sound healing meditation (3-4 hours worth - after the first hour, I felt something dissolve and release so I thought more = better). I tried dancing to one of the songs from a 5 Rhythms mix I found on iTunes. I tried deep pilates breathing. I tried having a dialogue with my body - I think it said I was afraid. Afraid? I asked someone who works with energy to check my chakras (thanks, Anne!) - my root chakra came up. You feel fear in your root chakra. Really? Fear?

Grounding helps the root chakra, so I took my Atlas pup for a long walk. During the walk, I decided to try something. I stopped, visualized the fear as an object in front of me, and took a step backwards. I then said, " I step through my fear," and walked forward again. I was still skeptical about this fear thing - I'm not afraid of change so what did I have to be afraid of - but clearly I am a "tryer of things".

Shortly afterwards, the epiphany hit me. I am afraid - because now I really do believe that I can be, do, and have everything I want. Why is that so scary for us?

Have you heard Marianne Williamson's quote: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

I wonder if the "I'm not worthy" feeling is just familiar, and safe, and comfortable.

But she's right, you know, as she continues, "Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world .."

So .. I am sending love to my fear and feeding it some cheesecake. I know it will leave, and then there will be room for more excitement about what is ahead.

And you, too, really are powerful beyond measure. Embrace it.