you can have it all

I've had a block in my chest for a few days now. It feels like a heavy, dense, solid mass of something. Something that's trying to get out. I'm still not that great at just sitting with these things, so I have been trying to release it.

I tried reiki. I tried a chakra balancing meditation. I tried a sound healing meditation (3-4 hours worth - after the first hour, I felt something dissolve and release so I thought more = better). I tried dancing to one of the songs from a 5 Rhythms mix I found on iTunes. I tried deep pilates breathing. I tried having a dialogue with my body - I think it said I was afraid. Afraid? I asked someone who works with energy to check my chakras (thanks, Anne!) - my root chakra came up. You feel fear in your root chakra. Really? Fear?

Grounding helps the root chakra, so I took my Atlas pup for a long walk. During the walk, I decided to try something. I stopped, visualized the fear as an object in front of me, and took a step backwards. I then said, " I step through my fear," and walked forward again. I was still skeptical about this fear thing - I'm not afraid of change so what did I have to be afraid of - but clearly I am a "tryer of things".

Shortly afterwards, the epiphany hit me. I am afraid - because now I really do believe that I can be, do, and have everything I want. Why is that so scary for us?

Have you heard Marianne Williamson's quote: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?"

I wonder if the "I'm not worthy" feeling is just familiar, and safe, and comfortable.

But she's right, you know, as she continues, "Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world .."

So .. I am sending love to my fear and feeding it some cheesecake. I know it will leave, and then there will be room for more excitement about what is ahead.

And you, too, really are powerful beyond measure. Embrace it.

Comments

[Barbara]

Oh yes, Fear will be transmuted to Joy. I use Rose Quartz for heart chakra healing and protection and it's my 'giveaway' stone when people seek my help in difficult emotional periods. I wear or carry it often.

[Barbara]

And for grounding, I use smoky quartz, pyrite, obsidian, and others. I've been able to buy 'stretchy' bracelets for a very reasonable price at Beadazed in Calumet, of all places. Ancient Vedic masters suggest that they should be worn close to the skin. I'm not beyond popping a few in my bra when going out the door; intuitively they choose me.

There's a wonderful online site, but I can't find it right now. Will send... Plus a couple of excellent texts for reference and knowledge.

I love your blog!

[Julie M]

That is so cool! Good for you. :)

[Elizabeth]

Hi, Barbara. I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the crystal suggestions. I have no experience with crystals but will def. do some reading up on them!

julie: thanks :)