let them eat cookies

A couple of years ago, I decided to try to re-learn the concept of intuitive eating. This came after too many years of not listening to my body at all when it came to nourishment. (Basically, I alternated between a mean drill sergeant and a very hungry animal. Moderation - in anything - is not really my thing. Clearly.)

If you ask me whether I've re-learned the concept, I would answer no. But the thing is: I don't diet or restrict anymore; I eat what I want, when I want; I eat when I'm hungry or I know that I'm not hungry and I've decided to eat anyway; I don't have good foods and bad foods; I know what affect foods have on me; my weight generally stays the same or decreases .. I think those are all concepts that intuitive eating teaches. So it would seem that I have re-learned it. But yet I don't feel like I have.

I think the problem is that I think about it too much. (I do not think that intuition is supposed to involve thinking.) The problem is - when I think about it - the whole intuitive eating thing seems so complicated to me. I mean, how on earth do I know what my body is telling me to eat.

For example, I just went downstairs and saw the tin of freshly baked pumpkin raisin cookies. I wanted one. But was that my body telling me it wanted a cookie? Or my mind?

And then there was breakfast. I had a small chunk of challah bread with butter because I saw the bread in the frig and it looked good. (Also, it needs to be eaten within the next week or so.) But was it really my body telling me it wanted challah bread?

This makes my head hurt. Somehow - even though I know this is not possible - I wonder if I am waiting for my body to actually talk to me. Like, literally speak. Out loud. Like I said - head hurting.

So .. I have given myself permission. Permission to not know whether I am using the concept or not. Permission to be confused. Permission to eat what I want when I want anyway.

Which is why I must say good night, because there is a tin of freshly baked pumpkin raisin cookies downstairs that is calling my name.

Comments

[anne]

I used to have the same problem with God. People always were saying "God led me to..." "God told me to..." and I couldn't figure out why I never heard from God. Then I gave up. HA!
I am thinking your body only has one voice- yours. So listen to that. :)

Anne

[elizabeth @ the blue lotus]

@anne: ha! I always picture a booming voice from the heavens when I hear that sort of phrase. :) Good advice - thank you!