coughing it out?

One of my goals for 2010 is to begin a more regular posting schedule with this blog. It is somewhat haphazard, and I am very much not that way. Anyway, my current plan is to post the Monday message on Mondays, something from my personal journey on Wednesdays, and something about reiki on Fridays.

Conveniently, there is something seriously puzzling me and it sort of relates to reiki.

On Wednesday, I came to some realizations around why I don't reach out to people when I'm sad. They were the kind of realizations that make you cry when you become aware of them, and it takes a while before you can actually articulate them out loud. After that, I was emotionally drained and had to go to bed early.

The next morning, while I was walking the pup, I started coughing. I coughed and coughed and coughed until I was almost doubled over. It felt like there was something that I needed to cough out, except it wasn't really an actual "something" that I could see.

The thing is .. this isn't new. It used to happen all the time, especially after very intense reiki sessions. The morning after many of these sessions, always while walking the pup, I'd cough and cough and cough - doubled over behind a bush, hoping that no one would hear me. Sometimes, I'd even cough during a session - hard enough that my near neighbors could hear me and were worried. In fact, I talked about this before, because it's how I figured out that my cat allergies had an emotional cause. After I would return from a visit to a house with cats, I'd cough and cough and cough. It felt like I was trying to cough the cat hair out of my lungs, even though I knew that wasn't really what was happening.

Essentially, it seems like it happens a great deal of the time that something comes up from my subconscious to be addressed (even if I don't always realize exactly what it is that I am addressing). Then again, it doesn't happen all the time.

This is so puzzling to me. Why the cough? Is it a way for my body to physically release these things? I really have no idea.

Anyway, I used to wonder if this was normal. Now, I don't so much wonder if it's normal, but I do always wonder if anyone else has experienced this (not necessarily during reiki, but in general), or something similar, or has any insight into why on earth it might occur. If you have any ideas, or thoughts about it, or similar experiences, I would love to hear them!

Comments

[Pearl Mattenson]

I have never done reiki so I can't speak to that but I know that when I am holding back on having important conversations or speaking a truth that I have been unwilling to say out loud, I get "throat-related" stuff going on. Needing to clear my throat a lot mostly, like I sound hoarse and then when I do talk people can't really hear me clearly. Also, when I used to be in therapy it used to happen all the time - this throat clearing thing. Don't know if it helps but curious to see what others might say...

[Caroline]

OMG...are you a reiki practitioner? I am too...just not practicing anymore (well, still on me...just not paying clients). Very interesting about the cough. The very fact that you recognize this is important...so maybe there is something trying to get your attention. Something to ponder. Wish I had a better answer.

[elizabeth @ the blue lotus]

@Caroline: I am! I mostly practice ad-hoc now, but will start practicing "officially" later this year. Hmmmm .. maybe there is something trying to get my attention. Maybe it will come out eventually.

@Pearl: Oh yes, me too. When I started practicing reiki on myself, I started having a lot of throat related issues - because I wasn't saying much of anything important. (It occurs to me that is is also rather interesting that I was a constant throat-clearer as a child ..) But that reminds me that it usually happens after the stuff I am processing is related in some fashion to things I haven't said .. so maybe that's why the coughing .. very fascinating!

[briana]

Wow, I think the coughing makes so much sense. (And that's where I confess to being all woo-woo I guess. :)

So, the coughing seems so symbolic to the speaking. But I also wonder if coughing is just one of your ways, the Elizabeth way, to process something? (Is this a chakra thing, of which my knowledge is embarrassingly limited?)

I just think it's all really fascinating. Except I don't want you to have to cough. You know what I mean.

[elizabeth @ the blue lotus]

@Briana: I was wondering about the processing thing .. don't really know if it's a chakra thing exactly (I am not all that fluent in chakras) but the throat chakra is supposedly the center of communication and self-expression and if you are blocked in that area, you may have throat-related issues.

[Elizabeth B]

Hey there. Your blog sounds so much like you - it makes me smile.

I have a memory of emotional coughing sometime in high school. I had a cough that lasted much longer than the rest of the cold - just lingered. Then one day my father asked why I was coughing and gave me a long hug. I cried stress-relief tears, and the cough disappeared. Since then I've occasionally noticed myself coughing when I'm holding on to some stress.

[elizabeth @ the blue lotus]

@Elizabeth B: Hi! I'm so glad you stopped by. :) Thank you for sharing your story. That's so great that your dad was able to recognize what you needed and provide it - and that you are able to recognize when it shows up again. I'll have to remember the stress thing ..