The message I keep getting, in oh-so-many forms, is that things are moving at the perfect pace for me. That slow consistent progress is good. That I need to learn the value of periods of activity and periods of rest.
Part of me really believes this. Part of me doesn't. But even the part of me that believes it finds it really hard to trust that it is so.
The message that faster is better is everywhere. It is hard to miss. Faster is better. Do more in less time. Do more things at once. Get "there" more quickly.
To make matters worse, I just realized that I am coming out of ten years in high-tech, where that message is even more prevalent. Faster is always better. Always. (Ok, so I do occasionally wince at the slowness of my seven year old computer, but still.)
This makes sense now. It is no wonder that I have trouble trusting that my current pace really is good. And by good, I mean right for me.
By the way, I am definitely not saying that slow is inherently good or that fast is inherently good, just that fast isn't necessarily always better. At least for me.
This also explains why I do not like practicing Shiva Nata slowly. So, I think I will start to do the occasional slow practice, and see what happens.
Want to hear something funny? Before I wrote this post, I practiced Shiva Nata with the intention that I receive love and clarity around a blog post. I meant around the blog post that I was going to publish today but decided it needed one last quick edit. Instead, this post came into my mind. Like I said, the message keeps coming up.