maybe start with noticing

I know it can be scary to think about beginning to give yourself what you need and want.

It's scary in general. (Most of us learned that giving to our own self is not okay.) It's scary because it seems so huge. (We're sure that the list is endless and the items on the list are huge and impossible.) It's scary because it feels endless. (We're sure that once we start giving, it'll go on forever and we won't be able to do anything else.)

My current idea-in-practice is that even just paying attention and noticing what you need is enough to begin to change things. Sometimes it feels easier and safer to commit to paying attention than it is to commit to taking action.

I mentioned earlier this week that I needed rest. What I didn't mention is that I have been lacking in focus and ideas for work lately and was getting really frustrated. Even so, I decided yesterday that I would really try to commit to taking care of myself. Today, my motivation and ideas are back again. And I remembered something that showed up in my journal after a Shiva Nata session: "Sweetie, you need rest. I know you are wanting to write something business-y here but it's not going to happen. You and your business need rest."

I didn't get any extra rest. But I did notice last night when I grew tired, even though I still felt unable to go to bed until I did a bit more work. Hence my new idea-in-practice, because clearly the noticing was useful in and of itself.

It's wonderful to feel heard and understood. It occurs to me that paying attention and noticing what you need, even if you can't give it to yourself just yet, is actually a way of doing just that.

Comments

[steph]

"It's wonderful to feel heard and understood. It occurs to me that paying attention and noticing what you need, even if you can't give it to yourself just yet, is actually a way of doing just that."

When I read this, I felt a huge spaciousness in my heart. I think you are spot on, that noticing is a way of giving ourselves empathy. Thinking about this, I feel really hopeful. I'm so happy you shared this thought!

[Paulita]

I was going to quote the same lines that Steph did. This really resonates with me.

[elizabeth @ retinal perspectives]

@steph, @paulita: i'm so glad i posted that part! it occurred to me right before i published the post, so i decided to add it.