retinal perspectives

i need a jolt of energy, please

in truth, i really need sleep. tonight, please?

in case it is not possible, may the caffeine in this photo go directly to my bloodstream tomorrow morning.

and to yours, if you need it.

a sense of trust, volume 4

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust - my word for 2011}

today, i realized that what i need most is to be reminded that i have permission to be kind to myself. i also realized that as i learn to be kind to myself, i will learn to trust myself. somehow, the permission will lead to kindness which will lead to trust.

my tribute to mark rothko

i am at rally (rally!) this week - having epiphanies and writing madly - which is why i've been so quiet, but i was playing with bubbles yesterday afternoon and decided to create my own little tribute to mark rothko.

if i haven't mentioned it before (i feel as if i have), i adore his paintings. adore. i want to dive into them and splash around in the color.

a good dog is worth his weight in dog hair

this is the sort of random conversation you might hear in my house on a daily basis.

me: atlas?

atlas opens one eye.

me: your mom is sleepy. well, in truth, your mom is dead. i am not your mom. do you think dog moms love their puppies like human people love their puppies? do you think puppies love their moms like they love their people?

by this time, atlas has closed his eye again.

me: how do you feel about your mom? do you remember her? do you love her like you love me? i wonder how dog moms feel about their puppies. do they love them? do you think it's different because they have to train them to be strong and survive?

atlas: snores

a burst of color

for a grey and gloomy morning.

in truth, i haven't minded this winter very much.

past winters, i went to work when it was dark (and usually rainy) and came home when it was dark (and usually rainy).

this winter, i can see the sun (or lack thereof) from my window while i work. as soon as there is a break in the rain, atlas and i head out for a long walk. if the sun comes out, we head out for an even longer one. i am discovering that even on these grey and gloomy days, there is a lightness to the sky during the day that makes a world of difference to my sun-deprived senses.

these little changes have made all the difference.

how do you get through the grey and gloomy season? if you have one. if you don't, i occasionally envy you.

let's talk about travel

i am attempting to write something (that may or may not become a post) that is emotionally taxing. as such, there may be lots of lightness around here.

on a walk one day, i got to thinking about traveling. i decided that even though i love to travel, i love it here so much that i could (probably) be content to never travel again. well, as long as i could still go around oregon. or the entire pacific nw. or the pacific nw + bc. or the entire west coast.

at that point, i realized that i was equating traveling with flying so i could actually ban travel and still go to a lot of places, as long as i was willing to drive there.

i eventually decided that i really would be ok with never traveling again AS LONG AS i could have one final trip so that i could visit the galapagos islands. (if i hadn't been to machu picchu already, i would have needed two final trips.)

then, i made a list of places in priority order just in case i got more than one final trip.

1. galapagos islands
2. prague/budapest
3. morocco (this might actually be #2)
4. florence + tuscany
5. edinburgh + isle of skye (this might be #4, i keep changing my mind) 
6. egypt
7. african safari
8. bhutan

i have to say, it was fun to think about. as a bonus, it's nice to know my list of absolutely must and really must visit places. and it was also nice to be reminded how much i love italy and scotland since they are in the top 5 even though i have gotten to visit both of them.

so now i'm curious. what does your list look like? your top pick?

a sense of trust, volume 3

{my attempt to capture 52 photos that represent trust - my word for 2011}

whether or not the path of a vine makes sense to us, it makes perfect sense to the vine.

so every day

"So every day
I was surrounded by the beautiful crying forth
of the ideas of God,

one of which was you."

- Mary Oliver (So every day, from Red Bird)

i am knitting!

I AM KNITTING!

surely this deserves capital letters.

i bought the yarn at a shop in manzanita, along with a crochet hook. the plan was to learn to crochet by making a pair of fingerless gloves. it sounded so easy and doable when the yarn shop lady explained it. a neighbor loaned me a how-to-crochet book and i tried it the other night.

much frustration ensued.

the first source of frustration? about half-way through winding the yarn into a center-pull ball, i ran into a knot that would not be loosened. the only way i could manage to loosen the knot was inch by inch, until i had followed it to the end of the yarn and 170 (yards?) of yarn was spread across my bed. then, i had to roll the yarn into a ball again (it actually looked more like a turnip).

the second source of frustration? i could not figure out how to crochet, even with instructions.

i decided to try knitting instead.

the experience was certainly not problem-free. i couldn't find the tail end of the yarn so had to unroll the entire ball of yarn - again - and then roll it into a ball - again - but knitting turned out to be much easier for me to learn.

so, i am on my way to my very first scarf. wish me luck!

p.s. is it a problem if you started with 20 stitches and now there seem to be 22?

aroooooooooooooo

(actually, i don't think weimaraners really make the "aroooooooooo" sound. a shame.)

when we're driving somewhere and atlas thinks he knows where we're going, he'll start barking. (he is not a barker at home so we have a deal. he can bark in the car as long as his head stays behind the front seat backs. i figure he needs time to express himself, even if i suspect that i will someday go deaf from the clamor because he has an impressively loud bark.)

often, to amuse myself, i will bark along with him. this makes him bark even louder. so there we are, driving down the road, him barking up a storm, me "ruff ruff RUFF"-ing along with him. every time, it makes me dissolve into giggles.