havi said something at the january rally (rally!) that hit me like a ton of bricks. (in a good way. i was going to substitute feathers for bricks, but that made me think of getting feathers in my nose and mouth which seemed very unpleasant and sneezy.)
essentially, she said that the way to getting ease will be with ease. in other words, the way to bring more of a quality into your life will be in a way that includes that quality.
ding, ding, ding.
there are all these qualities that i care about, things like kindness, sweetness, comfort, rest, possibility, mindfulness, spontaneity, hope, joy ..
and how do i go about my goals or wishes? in ways that most certainly do not always include those qualities.
so, i am experimenting with flow. i didn't know it was flow when i started - my plan was to follow my heart/inspiration/whims throughout the day for the rest of february, unstick myself as necessary, and document my findings - but it turns out that following my inspiration is flow.
i must say, this is quite possibly the most fruitful experiment ever. i keep seeing more and more ways in which i block my flow, often related to internal rules that i didn't even realize i had. (for example, i can't go hiking unless i decide the night before and wake up early because otherwise there will be traffic and heat. or, it doesn't count as work unless i am sitting at my desk in front of the computer and i had better be doing so for more than 8+ hours a day no matter how much my body protests. or, i have to eat lunch when i feed atlas lunch even if i'm not hungry because it's more efficient.) i am constantly shouting, "you can't get to flow by blocking flow!" as i notice a new pattern.
it is all so fascinating. i haven't even had much time to physically practice shiva nata (which is genius at helping you see patterns) because i am spending so much time writing down my noticings. then again, i am sort of living my practice. wheeeee!
oh, the fun of learning more about yourself and how you live/work.