learning to take road trip b

earlier this year, i read a book about pleasure. in the beginning of the book, the author described two road trips.

on road trip a, you are hungry, tired, and need to use the bathroom, but you won't stop because you just have to get to your destination as fast as possible.

on road trip b, you have friends, plenty of snacks and music and reading material, and you stop at intriguing sights along the way.

i have been thinking about this ever since because i immediately went, "oh my gosh! i am always on road trip a!"

this is true for road trips. this is true for driving in general. this is mostly true for life.

there is a reason i stop at dairy queen almost every single time i go to the coast for a hike. not that i think dairy queen is a bad thing. i would be happy to stop if i was doing it because a blizzard appealed to me. but no, i am stopping because i am so so hungry by then that i absolutely cannot make it the last 15 or so miles home and it's the first place i come to that has food.

i told my sister helen about my realization because she was there when i did my road trip from oregon to michigan. her response: "yes! i remember when we were going to stop for food once and we didn't stop at this one place because we thought we'd find something else and then we didn't and you wouldn't go back to the other place because it would be on the wrong side of the road so we had to get back on the freeway without getting food!"

(i am cracking up at myself because that is totally something i would do.)

the sad thing is that i wanted that road trip to be road trip b. in fact, we stopped three times in the first 60 miles: to let atlas run off-leash, for a picnic, and to see multnomah falls. then i quickly reverted back to my usual road trip a behavior.

i think it's a combination of two things: thinking that fun and pleasure aren't (or shouldn't be) important (especially when it's just me), and thinking that the destination is more important than the journey.

i definitely don't believe that the destination is more important than the journey, so i don't want to treat it as if it is. and if i believe that i am worthy of love and kindness, then i am worthy of fun and pleasure too. so i am learning to shift both patterns.

i used our road trip to the olympic peninsula to practice. there were a few slip-ups - old habits die hard - but i did pretty well.

want to hear the funniest slip-up?

we were hungry after wandering on the beach one afternoon, so we decided to have a picnic. i pulled out everything i needed from the cooler and started making sandwiches. i made helen her sandwich first. as i was moving the last three slices of meat from the package over to my waiting slices of bread, atlas grabbed them from my hand and ate them. there was another package of meat in the cooler, but what did i do? i decided it was too much trouble to open the cooler and get more meat out just for me so i had helen give me one of her slices of meat.

(i have been laughing about this ever since. really? i thought it was too much trouble to get out more meat? goodness. i really do need to practice.)

anyway, i am in love with this idea of road trip b. for everything, not just for road trips. i know that i want to enjoy the journey, and i am always thinking about what road trip b person would do. come to think of it, i think about it enough that i might need to add the book to my list of books that are my favorites because they changed my thoughts (and subsequently my life) in some way.

Comments

[tammy]

i grew up with a road trip a father! i can laugh now, but when you're told "you can hold it til we get to ...." or "we've got to make time..." and you're 10 or 11, you think i'll just sleep thru this. i love your post and happy that you have laughed about it now, rather than later. i believe that laughter is the magic glue in life. i'll check out the book. thanks!! ps... atlas pup must have really wanted that meat. :)

[Helen]

if you think about it, though, you would also have been getting that meat out sort of for me, since i would have been able to have 2 pieces instead of 1:) haha. when i came on here i was excited to read the post when i saw the title. you did do great!

[elizabeth @ retinal perspectives]

@helen: lol. that would have been true, except you only wanted 1 slice of meat anyway. ;)

@tammy: that reminded me of another sister's story about making an 8 hour drive with someone who wanted her and her friend to eat salted peanuts because he said he wouldn't stop. atlas definitely wanted the meat! i must have put it too close to him and it was too tempting. :)

[Ann Bimberg]

sadly, most of ours are type A trips, as we have limited time and a specific distance to make....i would love a B trip, where you were not constrained by time.
~ ann b.

[elizabeth @ retinal perspectives]

@ann: yup, totally get time constraints. but i am actually thinking about how even a trip constrained by time and distance can still be a b trip. it's not really about me having time to wander; it's more about the feel of the trip overall and incorporating enjoyment into every aspect of it. :)

[jennifer h.]

i'm intrigued by the book and might i suggest a road trip b to ca sometime. :)

[Sherron]

Timely post for me to read! I am spending the entire day recovering from being in a car entirely too long yesterday. When I finally got home, I could barely walk because my hips and lower back hurt so badly. Oh - and I did the same thing you did! I passed up a restaurant (I was SO hungry!) thinking there would be another one and then wouldn't go back. Good grief! LOL

[Donna]

Love this post...and validation about why I've always been grateful for being a road trip b kind of gal! I've never understood why someone flies instead of drives...stopping and exploring are more than half the fun!

[michelle marlahan]

oh my gosh, i want to go on road trip b!!! such a great story (and amazing photos). thanks for the new frame.

ps - old habits die hard, but won't it be fun to go on road trips and test them out!! :)