this is the last week of my 30 days of (something). less than a week, really.
if you are joining in and want to check in on this post, i would love love love to hear from you. regardless, know that i am happy that we're all in this together, and am cheering you on.
a few people have mentioned that they've been approaching their particular practice with much more gentleness than usual. rather than considering themselves a failure if they miss a day, they just notice it and move on.
that is definitely what i noticed in my own practice this week. i practiced shiva nata on monday, tuesday, and wednesday, flailed a little on the beach on thursday, but then i didn't really practice on friday, saturday, or sunday. i thought about practicing, but it felt like i was doing some inner deep sea diving and it felt better to give myself some time off from the physical practice.
the best part? unlike pretty much every other time i tried this 30 day practice, i did not decide that missing a day meant that i failed and therefore must quit. hurrah!
this week, my theme of permission surfaced in a surprising and delightful way. i gave myself permission to do the things i wanted. i went to the woods and i went to the ocean and i bought cherry lemonade and atlas and i sat in the grass in the sun while the neighbor kids loved on atlas and told me stories. (did you know that trees and flowers can help ease pain? and that if you wrap your hand in duct tape to make a fist and then pull it off, it will hurt a lot? i didn't, but now i do.)
on saturday, i was trying to figure out exactly what it was i was feeling. it felt a little like happiness but somehow deeper and more grounded. i finally figured it out - it was contentment.
i feel very contented.