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Brilliant! It's fun hearing you work through it all out loud. I love how you realized that the belief 'if I could only surrender *then* I would be told exactly what to do' was beneath your fascination with surrender. I'm guessing the fascination with surrender will stay around for a bit longer. I wonder where it will take you next???

I love the recording- it's such a treat to hear your voice. As I listen to you, I want to call you up and let you know that you are not alone in your search for answers. I also wonder as you process, arent you sort of the voice you are looking for the the answers from? I think so! For me, it becomes a matter of sort of knowing what feels right, but another matter of trusting/believing those feelings. Believing in myself is my number one obstacle when it comes to my personal journey of self. I can fake the walk well, but truth be told, it's scary when i have those same kinds of philosophical convo's w/ myself. I would love to chat one day! xo

I love hearing your voice, such fun!! .. you are on the road to surrender, not always easy!!

hearing your sweet voice and laughter absolutely made my day! it filled me with missing for you too ~ but really, what a treat!

you have me thinking about surrender. i love the way you documented this for yourself and thank you for sharing it here. xoxo

now... a wonderful voice to match the beautiful photographs!
a voice full of laughter, depth and self wisdom.
the trouble with the western side of the world i think, and it seems to be spreading ... is always "what do you do?" what we 'do' seems to supposed to be who we "are."
i think you are just elizabeth! mom to atlas.
a creative, spiritual being who loves life and sees the beauty and mystery in everything! like a tiny lady bug on a "huge to her" stalk of grass. maybe that lady bug is you. trusting.
maybe your mission is to inspire others.
not sure you can make a living doing that... but it's certainly appreciated! :)

first, i was plugging my earphones in, so anxious to hear your sweet voice.

this is so fabulous...no editing the spoken word, no backspace. LOVE.

I used to do this when i was driving to St Cloud...i had a mini recorder. The kids just unearthed...maybe i'll listen to my tapes, to remember being 19.

Is surrender being in the moment??

@leone: that's my current working-theory! at the very least, i can always use the practice. :)

@jen t: ha. did i mention that i really wanted to re-record it to explain myself better with less pausing? ;)

@tammy: i *am* just elizabeth. goodness, i want to be ok with that and not need more. working on disentangling from the obsession with the "what do you do".

@jennifer h: i am pretending it is the beginning of a conversation with all of you and soon i will hear your voices. <3

@elk: so true. p.s. i'm excited for my birdie!!!

@sandy: i am. (can you tell that i have trouble trusting myself? hee.) i'm glad to know that others wonder these things too. i feel less alone in my confuzzlement. & wouldn't it be fun to chat indeed!

@larisa: i'm still cracking up that i didn't recognize the pattern. i'm always in that one in some form and still i don't recognize it. so funny. ;)

I'm soooo glad you did this. (And I'm going to have to remember to use my little voice memo app, although not to post, just to epiphany-capture!)

I love hearing you work all this out. Second best thing to talking to you about it on the phone. Which is the next best thing to epiphany gabbing with you in person! :)

Wait, what?? There's not going to be any voice of god telling us what to do, ever?? ::arm over forehead, faints dramatically in a heap:: I guess I, too, will just take comfort that I'm not alone in wanting this (and figuring out how to detach from the fantasy).

I love hearing your voice and your delightful giggle.

I am behind! I loved this Elizabeth, it was really wonderful to hear your voice - Now reading your words in other posts, I hear it too and that's really lovely.

It did make me laugh! With recognition too! I so have this pattern - what is it exactly that I'm supposed to be doing?! Someone please tell me and I will go DO. Being ok with the not-knowing of so many things - I have been working and thinking on this so much and I'm not any more ok with it. But... right now I'm starting on something new - without knowing exactly where it will go, if it will work, what it will become, IF I will even be in a position 6 months from now to continue. And I'm doing it anyway without any remote sense of certainty on anything - instead of never getting started. So I guess that's progress :)

Your words, and photos, and reiki, and Atlas - you are following it - and I love following your process/progess!

So fun to hear your sweet voice and thoughts at work. Loved this! Do it again. :D

When I look back on my life, I'm so aware that all that I've been through and experienced until this point... has prepared me for what I'm occupied with currently. If that makes sense. I'm able to see *in retrospect* that I'm gently being guided here and there, learning from this or that... but in the now, I'm not always patient or content with that thought. My aunt told me that she thinks to herself: in this moment, everything is exactly as it should be. I tried it once. Nothin'. Lol. (I'll try and remember to say it more often.) She also told me that she told herself every single day that she was loved and worthy and one day, a big giant wall came crashing down and she finally believed it and she had to pull her car over because she was crying too hard to see.

So glad you're you. <3

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