do you know that i have done a reiki session for myself every single day for over three years?
i've been thinking about this lately because i've been thinking about my reiki offer (a way to help you pause and refill your well using reiki).
occasionally, i feel moved to mention the offer. otherwise, i trust that the right people for the offer will find their way there when the time is right. that is how i found my way to everything that has been helpful to me, including reiki, and it is the way that feels right for my offer.
at the same time, i often shy away from mentioning the offer even when i feel moved to do so. it turns out that there are reasons for this.
one reason is that i very much do not want to try to convince anyone to try reiki. i went through my dark night of the soul, as it were, as part of my experience with reiki. while it was worth it to be here in this place, i would not wish the hard of that on anyone.
that's why i've been thinking about my daily reiki sessions. it occurred to me that my experience was different; it did not involve the occasional session. i tried reiki and then took the first class and then the second class and then the master class. i have done a reiki session for myself every single day since that first class, over three years ago now. some days, i give myself more than one. i can no more imagine not doing it than i can imagine not brushing my teeth.
i cannot even believe that i have done this for three years. i generally think of myself as undisciplined and uncommitted and yet somehow, i committed to this without even thinking about it.
(there are other reasons why i don't want to try to convince people to try reiki. reasons like, people vary. or, i believe that we all have our own path and i will never try to tell you that my path is right for you. or, all roads lead to rome - as in, i'm pretty sure i could have found my way to this place any number of ways; reiki just happened to be the way i stumbled upon.)
another reason is that i don't know how to talk about my experience. well, other than in bits and pieces: i don't chew my nails, i don't hate myself, i don't need steroids to be around cats, i can sing higher notes again.
i was hoping to finally talk about my experience a little but it turns out that i still cannot find the words, even if i give myself permission to talk about it awkwardly and inadequately.
still, maybe this is enough for now. i guess doing something every day for three years says something about my experience, even without saying anything else. (then again, i have brushed my teeth at least twice a day every single day for what feels like a million years, and yet i still have a cavity.)