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This is really beautiful and so true. I think of therapy is very similar ways - it was the repetition that let me start to unravel some of the knots and see that they were so much a part of me I could no longer hate them or wish them away.

Thanks for sharing. I think I just can't let go. Years of being laughed at for crying maybe?

Anne

Thank you for sharing. Acceptance of our entire selves, scars and all, is something that we could all strive for. I think you are so very courageous for coming to terms with yours, the process could not have been easy. You're inspiring. :)

@Juno: and your therapist is clearly made of awesome! I wonder if reiki helped rather like therapy might have .. except without the talking. I guess it's the whole "learning to love yourself as you are" thing, and from this vantage point, it would be hard to wish such a big part of myself away. So glad you found therapy to be helpful!

@Anne: oh, no, that sounds like it would have been hard. I wish I could give you a hug. I don't think you have to let go of it if you don't want to or aren't ready. Hard to make healing another "should", you know.

@Julie: Thank you! I sort of see 100% acceptance as enlightenment (i.e. I'm so not there) but it's a good goal. I wish we all were there.

This reminds me of the part of "Eat, Pray, Love" where the author is trying to meditate and can't block out some of the past hurts and memories. So she doesn't. She faces them, one by one, accepting that they're part of her that she can't ignore. By acknowledging their presence in her self, she minimizes the subconscious power they have over her.

(This reminds me of that, except that I love it much more. Her tone makes me itchy, and your tone is like a cup of tea. With honey.)

When I speak of the pain in my past, I am very casual. As if I have peace with all of it. But sometimes I dream about some of it, and I know that things aren't okay deep down. I've often wondered if I talked about it (or tried reiki) I would fall apart. I'm not ready or prepared to do it today, but it is in my imagination. Maybe someday.

Thank you for sharing your story. It strengthens me.

@Leanne: maybe someday. When you're ready. If you want. I can only imagine how much harder the year would have been with everything + the added pain of thinking that I should face it. {hugs} to you.

@JenG: I giggled at your last sentence because I love that book and her writing. Yes, there is power in facing things and listening to them and accepting their right to exist, for sure - but man, is it sometimes hard to do.

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