Ever since I read The Happiness Project, I've been thinking about what I actually like and what actually makes me happy, versus what I think I like and what I think makes me happy.
For example, whenever I write a list of dreams, one of the things I list is that I want to live in Italy for three months every year. (No doubt inspired by an intense love for Italy as well as years of reading Under the Tuscan Sun.) It's a lovely dream.
Except I have a dog. And I can't imagine not having a dog. And I can no more imagine flying my dog to Italy than I can leaving him (or her) behind. In other words, my dream wouldn't really make me happy.
I do, however, like longer vacations. Three months is definitely too long. Six weeks was too long. But maybe one month. Or two weeks. I also like the idea of a home-away-from-home-with-dog within driving distance. Those things would make me happy.
On a similar note, I like the idea of a truly mobile business. That was part of the appeal of self-employment. I like the idea of traveling around and working from wherever I am. The teeny tiny thought that crept into my mind when I decided to open an etsy shop was, "Oh no! Now I'm not mobile!"
Except I don't want to be mobile. I like my home. I like being home. I don't want to move away from Oregon. And as we've already discovered, I don't want to travel and travel and travel. This thing that I think would make me happy would make me very unhappy.
On the other hand, I like sending presents to people. I like packaging them. I like having a stash of supplies that I can use to package them. I like sending them out. It all makes me very happy.
On a smaller scale .. Hmmmm. For some reason, I'm drawing a blank on smaller scale examples right now. That aside, I am finding the act of thinking about this and noticing it to be awfully helpful in making sure that I spend more time doing the things that really do make me happy and less time wishing I would do the things that I only think will make me happy.
Those are such interesting and useful realizations! It's so easy to get caught up (and pour lots of energy) into what we think we'd like only to realise that it was not what we really wanted. It's so sweet to see that your shop took you away from what you thought you wanted, and brought you towards what makes you really happy. :) The only downside, when such a thing happens, is that we get stuck in resistance mode until we see it actually gets us closer to what truly makes us happy. I'm glad you're past that, and you can fully enjoy the fun you're having packaging and sending your lovely cards.
Might be time for me to take a look at my list of dreams and see if it needs a clean up...
Posted by: Josiane | 08/21/2010 at 08:11 AM
@josiane: happily, this one didn't bring up a lot of resistance, because i was so excited about it. have fun looking at your dream list!
Posted by: elizabeth @ retinal perspectives | 08/21/2010 at 09:03 PM
It's a strange and wonderful experience to realize the difference between old dreams and new realities.
We have so many options today and the push is to define our ideal lives simply because we can. Yet it seems we sometimes feel odd choosing the simpler options--like we're not reaching far enough--but if it's what makes us happy, that's all that counts.
Posted by: Scraps | 08/23/2010 at 09:36 AM
@Scraps: Such wise words. Thank you. And the thing I do know about me is that I like a simpler life. :)
Posted by: elizabeth @ retinal perspectives | 08/23/2010 at 12:04 PM
Your words are timely for me. Such an important distinction to make! It's giving me good directions to ponder. Thank you. :)
Posted by: steph | 08/23/2010 at 08:56 PM
@Steph: You are most welcome.
Posted by: elizabeth @ retinal perspectives | 08/26/2010 at 08:23 PM