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I hear your frustration. Very often, I share a similar frustration.

Like you, though, I do choose to believe that it's a spiral--in fact, that in some ways all of life is an endless spiral.

Thank you for sharing the mean reds. It really speaks to me, touches my heart, softens my outlook. Good things. :)

@Steph: I'm sure it is. It's just harder to remember when you're in it (and since we're probably never out of it ..

Oh. I'm glad it spoke to you. Good things, indeed.

Very touching. I love the writing, how powerfully it evokes emotion even though you're not referring to a specific topic. Beautiful.

I struggle with self-worth as well. I guess the place I'm at right now is that I have to tell myself that even if I don't feel worthy of something (usually love or praise), it's okay. I'm not wrong to accept it. :)

I'm surprised to read that you don't feel that you can share your journey to enough-ness. Just touching on it here *is* sharing. It is such a private experience, or inner vision and the connections we make, the *reasons* for how we regard the me, but even mentioning as you have here, well, it helps me to feel connected in the struggle.

powerful words in the mean reds.
thank you!

...*our* inner vision.

i look for self-worth
in others
who can never give it
without conditions
on how i live

@ann: yes. this. i do this too. and it does always come with conditions - i can be worthy *if* .. {your comment is a poem, you know, and a very moving one.}

@jen: i guess it's not that i feel i can't share, it's that i don't know how to talk about it in a way that's deeper than just touching on it. but you're right - it is so private and personal that maybe that's enough. thank you!

@julie: thank you for sharing where you're at. i can relate. and that would be a good practice - telling myself that it's ok to accept things even if i don't feel worthy of them.

I recognize this struggle with worthiness in myself and the idea of it consisting of layers appeals to me. It is such a deeply etched belief and perhaps can only be smoothed over bit by bit. Sometimes I forget and think the "epiphany " itself should be enough to change me when, in fact, it seems to be merely the impetus for real change.

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