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this touched me on many points. i had a little golden cocker puppy once and i gave her baths... she loved the bath. but when time to dry i used a blow dryer. i thought she was just squirming the way puppies do. in fact she was terrified. whenever i would even use the blow dryer on my own hair she would hide. i have felt guilty over that for years. by the way... the first (of many) ear infections she got was when i took her to the vet to be "groomed." i don't know what they did.. all i know was i had never had a problem before.
i silently beat myself up for so many things. i know when i'm doing it. yet i keep doing it.
the truth is... the world beats us up sufficiently enough.. we don't need to help it along! we must remember that.
he adores you. you are his person. and maybe his velvet ears are simply super sensitive and it has NOTHING to do with the little pinches.
that's what atlas and i choose to think!
tammy j

aw, tammy j's comment made me tear up. i like what she chooses to believe! me too.

life is messy. we *do* have those moments. i have a messy story that pricks my heart, but the only person i ever told was my mom. i just can't bear to share it! i love the sort of emotion and peace that can come in full honesty like messy stories revealed.
you are beautiful!!!

"maybe everyone else really is perfect, and i am the only exception. it sounds so silly when i say it but it feels so true in my mind."

I know this feeling too. it's very brave of you to share your messy story. none of us are perfect, and each of us are at least a little messy. it's easier (in a way) to meet one other in that soft space of vulnerability, and make honest connections there. thank you for sharing your messiness.


Atlas forgives you!

So many things don't wrap up neatly. That's part of being human.

Thank you for sharing this story. I can relate to it. I truly believe that we each are doing the absolute best we can with the skills we have in each moment. But I know that as I learn more/different skills, it can be hard sometimes to look back at where I came from and remember that it was the best I could do at that time. In some ways I think it's even worse to recognize in the moment that there has to be a better way/a better skillset, but not to know what that way or skillset is, or worse yet, to know but not be able to do them in that moment.

i know how the messy moments can sting when you look back on them, they can be so disappointing. perhaps nothing requires more self compassion ~ i struggle with this.

@jennifer: i do too. maybe it just takes time and practice.

@steph: yes, that's it exactly. i knew in the moment that i wanted to use positive reinforcement and that i was not doing what i wanted to do, and that makes it harder.

@jerry: of course he does! that's what i love about him.

@sarah: that is so true. "the soft space of vulnerability" does make it easier to connect, though it's easy to forget that.

@jen t: i'm glad you had your mom to listen. it does seem to help to get them out. things that are left inside seem to fester.

@tammy: "the world beats us up sufficiently enough.. we don't need to help it along! we must remember that." such wisdom here. i keep coming back to it. thank you for sharing your messy story. xo

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